The Commandments of Post-Natal Encounters.

1. Do give your FULL support to the new mom. We are extremely exhausted, terribly emotional, extravagantly moody, FAT, and in immense pain. Please UNDERSTAND. Please HELP.

2. No matter how stressed up you are, never show your concern to us through anger. It does not solve a thing, makes us cry, and worsens our emotional stability. Face it: No matter how stressful you are, it's nothing compared to the stress of the new mother.

3. There is no need to burn extra calories and waste 5 seconds of your time just to comment on how huge the new mom looks like. We have mirrors. We know how fat we are. It's about time you knock your own head for a wake-up call: A spanking new human being has just popped out of her body!

4. Do not give any comments (positive/negative) on ANY of the new mom's body parts, especially when they are pretty private. It's awkward. After all, we have had more than enough strangers looking at our private parts during pregnancy, labour and post-labour. The only response I can give is "hrmmm..."

5. Staring at my chest when I'm breast-feeding isn't cool either. It has been a sacred, holy, and noble area of my body for the past 26 years. Giving birth does not change its status to a public display.

I'm also not comfortable having a chat while breast-feeding. It's a highly intimate experience between me and my child ONLY (Husband is an exception).

6. Please do not complain that you are damn bored just living in the house. In normal circumstances, new mothers can't go out of the house for freakin' 44 days!!! Wanna compare?

7. Don't dwell on how bad your skin texture looks like. Wanna see my stretch marks???

8. Also, talking non-stop about how concerned you are about your body shape with me isn't helping. Wanna see my flabs??

9. There is no need to ask me the same questions over and over again every time you see my face about why my mom was not around when I gave birth and why I live afar from my baby. Is it to difficult to fathom that there's no sane mother who would intentionally do that to her daughters/sons?? So, there must be a good reason why that happens/ed.

If you ask that for first time, that is simply a normal human reaction. If you ask too many times, it either means you are trying your best to annoy and sadden me, you are trying to make me feel like my mother doesn't love me and I'm also a bad mother, or you simply have an acutely dysfunctional memory system, worse than mine.

10. Whenever you feel like showering us with less-than-respectful words and "kerek" body and verbal languages, being angry with us, or simply ignoring us, please remember our sacrifices, both physical and emotional, in your life. We are mere humans. LOVE us...

~~'Coz you really don't know how much time you have left to show her your appreciation & love. And make her smile & laugh.

xoxo

The Mating Season is Back!

Oh yeah. School holidays = mating season.

But for me there's only one reception I could attend this Saturday, which is Intan's.

I really2 look forward to the wedding.

Not just to celebrate the love of a newly married couple, but also to meet my fellow IPBArians!!!

I haven't talked to some of them for years!

I hope many could make it.

Will be bringing Awish.

The first wedding ceremony attended by Darwish of course. hehe...

PD here I comeeee!!!!

The Kingdom of Love

I am currently in a retrospective mood.

It is thus justified to recall back how the kingdom of saiful-azrin-hood was built.

2003:

End of 2003 [End of Foundation programme].

1) It all started from a short and an innocent message (I'm not sure how innocent it is on his side tho') sent on Friendster. Thanks to this pic:


2) Continuous replies on Friendster. Non-stop chatting on YM. No real face-to-face conversations yet.


3) One of the later YM conversations involved the man confessing his feelings.


4) The girl said: "Let me think first... why don't we become real friends first at least? Come on, we haven't even talked to one another in the real world. Gimme some time please..."

2004:

Early 2004:

1) January 2004: First 'date'.

2) March 2004:

Girl: "Ok I've decided!" "Tapi tunggu la dia tanya btui2 dulu, I don't wanna do this over the phone or virtual world"

2 weeks later...

[Setting: Food Court Level 3, Mid Valley.]

Boy: "Boleh cop ko???"

Girl: "Errr, ok...."

Ok dah couple! hahahahah....


March 2004- December 2005:


* Di alam fana chenta...




January 2006 - June 2009:


*Stealth & teman-tapi-mesra mode.

2009:


1) 6th June: Engaged!


2) 11th December: SOLEMNIZED!


3) 12th December: Reception Kedah


4) 19th December: Reception Muar, Johor.

5) 30th December: Honeymoon - London & Paris (til 5th Jan)

2010:

1) Somewhere between 1st and 4th Jan: Conceived (I was unaware of this) and lost it! Blame it on Disneyland Studio's Tower of Terror)


2) Jan 2010: Feeling all funny and sluggish. Conceived (again, didn't realize it & didn't even know when exactly the conception took place.)

3) February 2010: Double line appeared on home pregnancy test kit. Went to the doctor to confirm pregnancy."Yippeee! I'm pregnant!" Darwish was the size of the full stop here.

4) August 2010: I was VERY pregnant.


5) 15th October: Delivered Darwish safely. Alhamdulillah.

2011:

1) 15th February: "Darwish is 4 months old!"


2) Current: Happy and contented with our life although we are not living together yet.

3) Mr hubby is just as sweet as (or sweeter than) he was before marriage. Alhamdulillah. May Allah bless us always with lotsa rezeki and true happiness.

Hopefully the hubby will always remember our journey together from the beginning too, and cherish the sweet memories we have lovingly shared.

And love me unconditionally even when I am all wrinkly and suffering from all sorts of menopausal symptoms in the future.

With a smackin' new product of our love who had recently popped out of my body, this journey will perhaps be even more peachy as days go by, insya Allah

Aminnn...

;D

* I may upload more relevant pics later, especially those taken before 2005. The piccas are in Kedah. Need to scan them first.

Fitness Frenzy

Caution: This entry is pretty tactless. It might thus have reverse effects on unhappy unmarried people, unhappy child-less married couples, and happy brides-to-be.

"~ A baby is something you carry inside you for nine months, in your arms for three years and in your heart till the day you die ~ " (Mary Mason).

And I could not agree more.

BUTTTT!!

No matter how beautiful and meaningful people say pregnancy is... there is one thing for sure:

IT MAKES YOU FAT!!!

Sorry lil Awish, although you are cute and cuddly like nothing else in this world, truth be told, you and your daddy had made me fat. huhu...


Being fat during pregnancy is natural and cute.


What isn't so cute is the post-pregnancy round and unfit figure.

Team this situation up with emotional instability due to sleep deprivation, constant pain, and mental exhaustion, you'll actually see a HUGE ball (with arms and legs) with words on it saying "Here comes trouble!"

Yes you'll lose tremendous weight in about a month after delivery.

You'll be monkey-jumping in joy when sometimes you lose up to 1 kg per day.

But for most people, that's the limit
(unless you are fully breastfeeding from the beginning and for at least 6 months onwards).

It is as if the weight loss process has gone tepu.

I am one of those unlucky beings who are not bestowed upon with immense volume and fast flowing 'tanks'.

So I have said bubbye to breastfeeding for the past 2 months.

The location between me and Darling Darwish has made the dream even more difficult to be realised.

(But I still provide some ... on a fortnightly basis).

I am so sorry Darwish...

I'll try to make it up by giving u lotsa supplements later... although they are nothing compared to the mother nature's gift.

Thus, here I am. Stuck with 5 more kilograms to lose.

What do I do?? Nothing???

I have made a resolution (Thank God)... to be slimmer and fitter.

And of course healthier.

My biggest motivation?? : My hundreds of clothes that I could not fit into!!!!

Fortunately, with the "yo-yo" self-discipline but constant motivation from hubby, I am now on my way to fitness lifestyle.

I am more cautious of what goes into my tummy.

And to my surprise, I exercise!!! I go to the gym daily for God's sake!

I want to increase my metabolism (coz i want to eat BIG!).

I aim to do as much cardio as possible now.

So far, I am burning around 250 calories each day on gym equipment (mostly treadmill).

Aiming to lose around 1-2 kgs a month.

So far I'm lovin it... I mean going to the gym and walking, cycling, & whatnot (like a hamster) with other like-minded people of all walks of life and of all sizes too..

It has just been 2 weeks, but I'm already feeling better than ever!

Thanks abang...

I hope I could keep this up for at least 3 more months.

What's gonna happen after that??

We'll see... ;P

Ciao.

P/S- Here are some sweet pregnancy quotes I like, to neutralize things up. hahahah...

~ Before you were born I carried you under my heart. From the moment you arrived in this world until the moment I leave it, I will always carry you in my heart ~ (Mandy Harrison

~ Before you were conceived I wanted you Before you were born I loved you Before you were here an hour I would die for you This is the miracle of Mother's Love ~(Maureen Hawkins)

~ Feeling fat last nine months but the joy of becoming a mom lasts forever ~(Nikki Dalton)

~ If nature had arranged that husbands and wives should have children alternatively, there would never be more than three in a family ~(Lawrence Housman)

~ Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside. ~(Rita Rudner)

~ A mother's joy begins when new life is stirring inside... when a tiny heartbeat is heard for the very first time, and a playful kick reminds her that she is never alone ~

~ There is no friendship, no love, like that of a mother for her child. ~(Henry Ward Beecher)

~Mr Darwish Bieber (BIbir BElah & besaR)~

aka

~ Mr LLLL (Little Lollipop with Luscious Lips)~

My Darling Darwish

Salam all,

I am fully aware that I left the story of my labour experience halfway in my last entry. So here I'm back, blogging on my post-natal experience after I had delivered my darling Darwish.

To be frank, even after enduring all sorts and levels of pain in the labour room, I am more apprehensive about my post-natal experience, both physically and MENTALLY...

One of the challenges I faced in the beginning was in terms of breast feeding. I had NO MILK at all for the first 3 days!! How depressing can that be?? I was supposed to supply the important colostrum to my baby for his immune system, and yet I was utterly helpless. I know that some people say that babies can survive without consuming anything for the first 3 days buttt kalo dh tgk anak melalak gila2, who would have the heart to just let the baby cry endlessly kan?? So I had to curi2 give Darwish some formula milk.

I was only discharged the next day, 16th October 2010.

During my stay in the hospital, Kay and Syuhada came to visit us.. Thanks girls!!! and of course other relatives too.. A lil sad that my mom was not there to see her first grandson. What to do... isk2...

I stayed in Muar for 2 weeks after delivery. I can tell you that taking care of a baby is everything but easy. Well, at least for me who's a dummie when it comes to babyhood. It was such a struggle as every single thing was my first time experience. It was my first time holding a newborn, changing diapers, bathing him, putting on his clothes, breast-feeding him, making him sleep, playing with him, etc.

And not to forget, all of the above were done as I was enduring the episiotomy pain. Jalan pn slow cam siput and tekepit2 cam penguin. And I looked like makcik indon basuh toilet (eh dorg lagi lawa kottt) for the first two weeks. This was due to a number of postnatal massages that must be done and all sorts of ointments that must be slathered on perhaps every single part of my body. And experienced friends had warned me earlier of the 'engorging pain' I would endure. Thanks for the warning. It was definitely hellish...hahahah...

Then, berbekung lagi and had to bring a thermo flusk every time I went to the toilet because aparently every inch of my body could only be washed with warm water. And my hair was VERY unruly, it had to be rolled into a hideous looking bun macam nenek kebayan dlm crita ulik mayang tuuuu... Yes, it was THAT horrible...

AND to spice things up, my lil Darwish suffered from Jaundice. It was mild in the beginning but became worse in the second week. Kesian sangat Darwish kena cucuk kaki every day for blood tests. Imagine me going in and out of the clinic looking terrifyingly disgusting like that!!!

Darwish was warded on the 12th day for 2 days. Only God knows how painful it was looking at your lil helpless baby being jabbed here and there and stripped half-naked for the photo-therapy.

After 2 weeks, I went back to Kedah. I thought Darwish's suffering had ended. Boy I was wrong.

At about 1 month old, he was diagnosed as having allergy reactions to cow's protein. This resulted in breathing difficulties, terrible coughs, and wheezing sounds from his chest. I could not fully breastfeed as Darwish ni kuat minum sangat2. And it seemed that my supply was not enough to accommodate his needs. I think he was just trying to catch up really fast because he has low birth weight. I know breastfeeding supporters would bark at me saying that I am just making excuses. But seriously, I just couldn't manage it. Sapa taknak fully breastfeed. Anak sihat and save duit. But it seemed that I could not even go to the toilet if I fully breastfed. Agaknye bila supply tak cukup asik bergantung je budak ni. Sian kelaparan... Even medications to boost milk production didn't help me much. So although I breastfed Darwish for 80% of the time, we switched to Soy milk when I couldn't, based on the doctor's advice.

Darwish was warded for about 10 days because of that problem.

Again I thought our misery was over. After about 2 weeks, he was then diagnosed as having infection pulak. Another 2 days in the hospital.. Phewww.. I think for the whole of my confinement period, we spent our time in the hospital more than we did at home. It's alright, as long as Mr Darwish is all fine. Alhamdulillah...

All the above stress, exhaustion, speed learning, trials and errors, recovery process, worries, and dealing with too many clashing do's and dont's were definitely overwhelming. Too overwhelming in fact. Suffice to say that I was on the verge of depression.

The experiences made me wonder whether I was really ready for motherhood and capable of being a good mom. I wanted to give everything and the best for him, but I just didn't know how. I had no knowledge, no experience. Everything was my first-hand experience.

But then again, as I looked at Darwish's face, my heart cooled down. Zillions of people are trying hard to conceive but God has bestowed upon us this beautiful gift only after a month being married. Thus I should just be grateful and accept any challenges, coz all of 'em will be worthwhile, Insya Allah...

Now Darwish looks ravishingly healthy and his weight gain is sooo good. He's catching up fast and his weight now is almost at par with others who were born with healthier birth weight. His crying is also isn't as terrifying as before. Still LOUD but sedappp...hahahah.. and he looks cute even when he cries, unlike before. He's truly active now, has strong limbs and giggles and smiles endlessly.























It's such a blessing to have Darwish in our lives.

Lesson learnt: Love your moms coz raising a baby requires a great deal of investment in terms of energy, willpower, emotional and mental states, and finance of course.

Lucky me, I have a helpful and supportive husband. Without emotional support, things could be a lot worse.

So, do I want another baby??? YESSS, BUTTTTT not anytime soon... Perhaps in 3 years or so.

As happy as I am now with Darwish, my nightmarish post-natal experiences are still haunting me. (fobia wooooo) Hehe...





Ciao.

Introducing a new earthling:

NAME: Darwish Irfan

SEX: Male

DOB: 15/10/10

PLACE OF BIRTH: Hospital Pakar Sultanah Fatimah, Muar, Johor.

TIME OF BIRTH: 5.45 am

BIRTH WEIGHT: 2.3 kg

THE SON OF: Norazrin Zamri & Saiful Izwan Zainal.

So, that's the basic info of our new lil hero.

It still feels like a dream, yet it has been almost 3 weeks that I've become a momma.

Looking at his moving limbs and chest, his smile and listening to his cries snap me back to reality.

Yes, I have a son! WE have a son!!! How miraculous is that???

Although I have endured it all, still the feeling is quite alienish..hahah..

I was warded earlier, on the 13th of Oct because of spotting, i.e. one of the many signs of labour.

That morning, after noticing the spotting, I called the hospital, asking what I should do. The nurse said that I should come immediately to Dewan Bersalin! Gila seram! But because I felt OK in every sense, sempat lagi bedal soto kambing before sampai hospital! Hahah...

Sampai2, they checked me....A few young doctors checked me. One male doctor then said to me, "Akak, sorry yer, kite kena "check jalan"".

Dalam hati, apasal lak nk sorry2, aku leh je jalan ni... naper nak check2 plak..huhuh... Skalik terus soh org bukak kaki...! At that point I understood what "check jalan" means. Those who've given birth would know what it means. Hehe. And since then agak fobia bila any doctors said the same thing again...

Then, they said I should be warded, although "jalan belum bukak lagi". Terkejut beruk, tak ready apa2 pn utk masuk hospital...

Still, I didn't feel any pain yet then..

Punyela eksyen, siap dok berinternet atas katil whilst other patients were struggling, enduring terrible contractions or post-natal pain.

I was waiting nervously for the pain to come, wondering how on earth it'd feel like. One by one other patients in the ward gave birth to cute babies and being discharged, but I was still stuck there, feeling pretty stupid.

My blood pressure, temperature and baby's heartbeat were measured every 2 hours.

Ultrasound scan was also done, and at that point the doctors made me feeling worried that I might have a pretty small baby.

I was like, what the heck??? In the last scan, it was reported that my baby weighed 2.9 kgs! That sounded fine to me!

Asal datang katil je, ntah berapa ramai doktor tah dok tekan perut..saying the baby might be around 2.6 kg.

Then on the morning of 14th Oct, I started to have irregular period-pain kinda cramps.

I thought, are these what people call contractions??? Of course no one could gimme me a definitive answer. I told the doctor, but he said not to worry. In fact several doctors felt like I should be discharged since I didn't feel any real pain.

That night, I asked my hubby to bring PizzaHut Royal Masala to the hospital. Haritu makan rasa cam sedap pulak, cam tak puas... Mr Hubby, being his usual sweet self, of course entertained my request. Masa tu dh rasa makin kerap stomach cramps tu, tapi dok wat bodoh ja... Rilek je bubbye abang balik..huhu...

When he was gone, I was alone in the room in the ward. All the other 3 patients had been discharged. Feeling a lil worried, I started to record the time of each cramp. Mula2 cam every 10 mins or so... I wasn't sure if they were contractions, so I alleviated my worries by watching Project Runway and Models of Runway at the TV lounge. Hahah..

After the show ended, I decided to sleep. But the pain came every 5 mins. I tried to sleep for an hour, and I couldn't. At that point I felt "OK, these ARE real contractions...". I couldn't really go down the bed to even walk to the counter. So the only thing to do was to press the emergency button.

Nurse cakap kena jumpa doktor dulu "check jalan". URGH! Terhegeh2 la lagi jalan p check plak.. Then dia cakap dah 3-4 cm, so I was instructed to pack one set of baby stuff, and be ready to go to the Labour room. Waaaa!!! The time has come!!!

I called Mr hubby right away. It was about 1 am. Lambat jugak dia nk jawab. I was feeling a lil worried dah.. Ada kang aku beranak sorg2 ni....

Once he answered, the only thing I could say was "Datang lah bang..."

He arrived like 5 mins later... I didn't even reach Labour room yet. Only God knows how fast he drove. Huhu...

He wasn't allowed to go into the labour room just yet. I was thoroughly checked first. And the third "check jalan" procedure was done. URGH!

Then the doctor said tak cukup lagi ni.. She even said that sometimes expectant mothers might be stuck in the room for half a day! Dalam hati "Gila ka?? dah sakit ni...bagi jela aku beranak...!!!"

So she said, ok, she'd come back in 2 hours. I was like "What???? 2 hours lagi nak endure this pain??" Tapi bertahan je la..I was sweating like a pig in the super-airconditioned room. sampai tertido2 2 nurse yang tunggu kat sebelah.. huhu.

I was so laloq, but of course I couldn't really sleep if the contractions were felt like every 2-3 mins.

Around 3 am ++, The doctor came back for another "check jalan" procedure. But at that point dah tak rasa ngeri sangat check jalan..Coz contractions lagi sakit dari tu...huhu... The doctor tried to break my water, tapi masih tak leh. Only an hour later she came back to do that. Alhamdulillah lepas...

One of the unbearable things to endure was to "pee". Badan drip water, so every few hours, the water had to be released. Seksanye guna tube tu tuhan je tau...

Mr Hubby mula2 masuk labour room, but then he was asked to leave when it was said that it'd take a few more hours for me to deliver. Pastu rasanya masuk lagi, tapi cam tak sure. Laloq lah katakan... In fact I couldn't really remember and digest whatever he said or asked at the moment. But I remembered la bila dh 5am something tu, he came in right at the moment when I was asked to PUSH!!!

There were 2 female doctors (Thank God), and one of them, "Eh dah 10 cm ni, Kamu tak rasa sakit ke?" Answering doctors' or nurses' questions in the labour room was such a pain-in-the-ass (almost literally) experience. Dalam hati: "Memang la sakit, tapi takkan aku nk terjerit telolong, baik aku baca doa dlm ati, ada gak faedah..."

The teran-meneran process took about 15-20 mins. At first I didn't really have the energy since I was dozing off, but when the doctor said that the baby's heart beat rate was getting weaker, I used all my might to just PUSH! "Pandai kamu push pandai2...curi lagi nafas curi2..."

Dalam ati: "Mana nk tau pandai x pandai... hentam jela... mana lg nk curi nafas ni..dh habih dh!!!"

Betul2 masuk je subuh, n maybe habih je azan subuh cmtu, at 545 am, Mr Drwish Irfan was born into this world!

The doctor put him on my chest, but I was still blur as to what had just happened...

I had delivered the baby!! Yeay!!! Although I was blur, but looking at his face, I felt so relieved!! and he distracted me from the process of taking out the placenta and other horrible 'cleansing' procedures that had to be done.

There were stitches since episiotomy was performed. Although the baby is small (I was pretty shocked to know that he was merely 2.3 kg!), but episiotomy had to be done since it's my first time and the baby's heart beat was weak then. I hate the stitching process! It felt like forever!

Ok, this is too long... I shall continue this story: my quest as a freakin new (dummie) momma in a different entry ya!

Still searching...

It has been 10 months...

10 full months of being a wife to my love.

I can't find the words to rightfully express my happiness and gratitude. ;)

There are tremendous changes in endless aspects that I have endured so far: physically, spiritually, mentally, emotionally, you name it!

And at the same time, though I'm obviously a full-fledged adult now, I'm still struggling... searching for my true identity.

I'm still in the dire process of finding my own self: Who I wanna be; What do I want to achieve; How do I want to look like; How do I want to live my life; What are my dreams; What is my ultimate goal, ...Oh it's surely endless...

But I'm absolutely sure of one thing: I want to be a better person, in all aspects, this life and the afterlife.

And thus, the changes.

And they take place one by one, gradually.

I try my best to change into a better person in a number of aspects.

Some can be seen. Some can't.

And to others, it's pretty clear that one of the most obvious and visible changes I've made so far is regarding my image.

I choose to don the image of a Muslimah... and so far (tho' it ain't easy), I'm contented, and there are no regrets.

One of the earlier changes I faced was to get used to wearing a hijab everywhere, without feeling like stripping it off. Well, I'm one of the few people who sweats a lot, especially around the neck area.

Thus wearing a hijab in this tropical country sure poses a great challenge for me. However, as time went by, I've got used to it, and do not feel like it's a burden anymore.

Well, I guess this is made easier by the fact that this change, this decision is made my ME, voluntarily; was not being forced by any third parties.

Second, though ain't that pretty, I LOVE my hair!!! And I had always been misled to believing that I looked a lot better without a hijab on. Well, maybe that's not entirely wrong... But maybe I just look A LITTLE better without hijab.. But is that the point??? NO!!!

It has dawned on me that life isn't just about the now and the present. It's not about how pretty you portray yourselves to other people. It's not about expecting the endless praises our friends might shower us with.

Eventually, the most important thing is, how pretty you are in the 'eyes' of our Creator.

and for those who are married, the essence of happiness is how pretty you are in your husbands' eyes and hearts.

The third challenge for me would be to still be fashionable and trendy whilst still carrying the image of a true Muslimah, without grabbing unnecessary attention from others.

One thing about me, I don't think I can live without makeup and the inner desire to feel pretty.

Oh what a challenge! I see a pretty top or a pretty dress, but it's either too tight or too short, or too see-through!

Then I proceed on a much safer choice; longgar, labuh, etc... and I end up looking like a Makcik!

And I'm not exactly good in tying up my hijab neatly, what more stylishly.

I want him to feel that I'm the prettiest woman he's ever seen.

I don't want him looking at other women, and says "I want you to look like that and that...not this way"

That would surely hurt...

I do not want him to feel embarrassed introducing me as his wife in public either.

I want him to feel proud walking hand-in-hand with me in front of others.

I don't want to look like his older sister, what more his mother!

I want to look like his girl!

Well isn't that hard???

Thus, I'm still searching...

Searching for the best way to dress up...that isn't too ke-makcik-an, or ke-ustazah-an, but also ain't skimpy and not defying the purpose of covering aurat in the first place.

A month after marriage, I found that I was pregnant. It's a sublimely good news but in a way, has limited my quest for searching the right image that I would want to carry as a 'new person'; still young and trendy but a married Muslim woman. Inevitably, I would just grab anything that would fit the FAT me.

But as months went by, I realized that I must change. Yup, again...

I will try my best to revamp my wardrobe after my confinement: getting rid of all unsuitable outfits, and replacing them with younger-looking ensemble that still do not go astray from what is allowed in the religion.

I just need to find and strike the right balance.

Perhaps, with a slimmer body, the quest wouldn't be as hard. Insya Allah...

I will also need to find matching hijab for all my clothing, so that I will not end up frustrated every time before going out simply because I can't quite find the right matching outfit and hijab to wear.

I want to feel happy wearing hijab. This process, by right, should not at all be accompanied with a long sigh.

This should be fun, not burdening... just like Islam...

I am just still in the process of adjusting things here and there...

And surely, there are many more important changes that I need to face.

Especially in terms of becoming a mother, and a better wife, and a better servant to God.

May Allah ease this journey, coz these changes are for the betterment of my life, OUR lives...

I should NOT feel afraid of enduring changes and challenges anymore...

Oh it's such a relief to pour all of this out...

I really should motivate myself more often huh???

Waiting to Exhale....

Pushhh...Pushhhh..Pushhh...

No Not yet...just imagining how it'll be like... huhuhu...

Gosh, it just dawned on me that waiting to give birth is a lot more nerve-wrecking than waiting to get hitched!

Not only it'll be painful, but a spanking new human being will come out from my body!!!!!

I know zillions of women have given birth, but I still do feel like an alien at times.

Also, after giving birth, comes a life-long responsibility to raise the baby to become a useful human being in all aspects as h/she grows bigger and becomes more mature each day.

But I'm sure this challenging responsibility will also be fulfilling at the same time.

I'm just a lil freaking out coz I think I'm sooo not well-equipped with all the baby info that I believe I need to know (and I accidentally left the 'Dummies Guide to Pregnancy' book in KL...haissshhh). Also, I have zero experience with newborns.

I hope hands-on experience will be my best teacher...

OK, worrying won't get me anywhere...

Gonna sort all the baby stuff NOW!!!

Taaa...!

In Muar... waiting...

I feel like a time bomb now...

I had my last prenatal checkup last Sunday.

Based on the ultrasound scan, my baby already weighs 2.6 kgs! That is quite a relief. Meaning h/she is not too small and not too big. hehehe..

So far, no complications have been reported. So I am expected to have a normal delivery, not far from the due date.

But still, we will never know what can happen right??? I hope everything will just be smooth. Aminnn....

All baby stuff has been brought back to Muar (but all of 'em are still in the car!), including the items that my students had given me!! Yerp, they are sooo sweeet to give lotsa baby gifts like a whole set of baby bolsters, pillows, mattress, and also a very cute baby outfit set for my lil munchkin! Thanks!!!

Oh anyway, yesterday, both hubby and I went to 'Kursus Rakan Suami', a course specifically organised by Hospital Pakar Sultanah Fatimah in Muar (in which I plan to deliver...).

In order for husbands to accompany the wives in, perhaps, the most critical moment of the wives' lives, the husbands need to attend this short talk, and obtain a 'ticket' to enter the labour room.

This course is simply organised to ensure that both husbands and wives fully understand what can and cannot be done in the labour room, the procedures, location of wards, etc.

It's quite useful but I was a lil disappointed that the Ustaz who should have given a talk on the verses that can be read to ease the labour pain and what the husbands are supposed to do (according to Islamic view) after the baby is out, didn't turn up yesterday.

Looks like I just have to google up everything lah!

But, with the stamped ticket, I feel soooo much relieved... At least I know that if I am lucky to have a normal delivery (aminnn), my husband can be right beside me, witnessing everything.. hehehe...

And I can deliver my baby anytime now without feeling that I will need to do all of this all alone...

Hubby and I would be together most of the time now, except for the day on which he needs to attend classes in UM, i.e. Saturday. But still, there are a lot of people in Muar here to help me out, should anything happen. And he could hop on a bus or drive back right away should I start experiencing any labour symptoms.

But I kinda pity him that he doesn't have a place to stay now in KL when he has his classes. Sorry yer bang... hotel je la nampaknya... Let's just wait till November comes ya...

Ok, I can't think of any more craps to rant about.

Ciao!

THE EURO TRIP

I am wellllll aware that this is a reaaaaallllllyyyy delayed entry. But it has been in my draft folder for months! I had written about our honeymoon halfway and somehow lost interest for a while (dun remember why, but I think I may have written some parts, and some were lost as they weren't saved), and totally forgot to continue writing it til recently.

After all, I was quite free for the past few days in UiTM. and Facebook couldn't be accessed there. You know lahh when you are too bored, you may end up noticing things that were missed before. That was how I noticed this 'unfinished' job. And since my baby is popping out soonish, and it'll be toooo late to write about honeymoon when I'm already a momma, I'd better do this now... or NEVER!

So I'll try to finish up this travel entry based on my unreliable memory, with the help of endless photos. heheh..

*These pics were taken before I seriously decided to change my image. So please excuse my 'uncovered' pics ya...

We bought our tickets to London a few months before our wedding. U know lah how cheap flight tickets are if you buy them months before your trip. So dun go waaaaahhhh as we decided to have a trip to London and Paris together.

Believe me, it didn't cost that much and we stayed in the most budget accommodation we could possibly find. And we cooked! So it was a budget honeymoon for us. After all, it's the travelling that matters most. So that's what we did. We travelled!!! From 7 am til midnight almost every day!

Day 1 (30/12/09)

We departed to London from LCCT, KL at 3.35 pm. Everything was smooth. and it wasn't a bumpy ride (Thank God! I have terrible flying phobias lately). But it was soooooo long.. The longest flight I'd ever taken, i.e. around 14 hours.

We arrived in Stansted Airport London at almost midnight, the same day. We could already feel the terrible chill outside the airport. We took a shuttle bus to the city, to the 'nearest' stop from our accommodation, Pemberton Gardens House (Hostel). Still, it wasn't that near, we needed to take a cab (which was sooooo expensive; it was our first and last time!) to get there. At around 1 am, we arrived there. The hostel looked like a gloomy Harry Potter's castle from the outside, but from the inside, it looked quite dodgy, to be frank. Huhu.. But what to do, that was the only hostel available for the holiday season. We were lucky to even have a place to stay. We stayed there for 3 nights.

I remembered asking when booking that we wanted a queen bed. But maybe they didn't have any. So we ended up getting a room with a bunk bed! A newly married couple and a bunk bed??? Gila ka... hahahaha.. so we brought down one of the single size mattresses to the floor and slept there for the rest of the nights there. Thank God we were born midgets! hehehe.

Sorry dear that your first experience in a youth hostel wasn't that fabulous...

No piccas at all on the first night there. Lupa lahh...

Day 2 (31/12/09)

We planned to make full use of our time there, so we went out really early in the morning to experience London for real! Fortunately, the underground train station was not that far from our hostel. The station is Archway. We bought unlimited day-pass tickets to travel all around London at a fraction of the original price. It was quite oklaaa... Just don't try converting the amount to Malaysian Ringgit or else we would go bonkers!

Here are some pics of us that morning:

-I couldn't have looked any more lost, could I??-

Then, we went to the famous Buckingham Palace, Wellington Arch, Hyde Park, and in conjunction with X'mas and New Year, a special theme park called Winter Wonderland was set up at Hyde Park. It felt sooo magical! Although Christmas was over, the spirit was still there, and it was so fun to experience real X'mas in the northern hemisphere. Here are some pics:

-Buckingham Palace area-

-Hyde Park & Wellington Arch area-

-Winter Wonderland-

That afternoon, we continued our journey to the famous Harrods store. I bought a handbag and a number of souvenirs. We also strolled along Oxford St, but just for window shopping...:

And before the sun set, at around 4 to 5++, we went back home for prayers and went out again to have a look at London Bridge view at night. It was spectacular! and we continued our journey near the London eye for new year celebration. BUT, I HATED the new year celebration.

Well, even in Malaysia, I am not the kinda person who like to celebrate new year as it is always crowded with crazy people. That's what I assumed. Although I can't compare, but London celebration may be even crazier, as the place was sooo soo packed with drunk teenagers, criminal-looking foreigners, and it was dead cold!!! People peed everywhere in public, and there was a loooong line to get into public toilets! Thank God we had some pennies, if not we couldn't even enter the toilets! There was this one drunk and almost insane old lady who was so pissed off that she couldn't get into the toilet because she didn't have enough money. I was sooo afraid of her coz she babbled non-stop, yelled like a maniac, and looked as if she could kill anyone at that point! Well women always have bladder and menopausal issues huh....

Gosh, I swear not to go to any new year celebrations ever again! Ingatkan nk seize the opportunity je.. But haisshh.. I just don't fancy such 'entertainment'. Dapat tgk fireworks sikit pun jadila.... Here are some pics snapped that night:







Day 3 (1/1/10)

It was a more relaxed day for us on the New Year. The last day in London city before we went to Paris. It snowed the night before, and the city was covered with a thin layer of snow flakes. I loved it! Here are our jaqun faces:






























We then went to the London Bridge area again to snap more piccas there, in daylight. On our way there, we bought extra scarves coz it was soooo cold. I bought two. Mula2 cik abang eksyen...but then he stole one..huhhuu. As we strolled along a number of streets, we always had several pit stops at several shops, just to feel the comfy warmth of the heater! hahhaha..kena buat2 macam belek barang macam nk beli la...huhuhu
































Then we went all around the London city again, Big Ben, and whatnot and returned back to our Hostel at night. Shopping was postponed til we returned back from Paris. Pheww... tiring for sure!















Day 4 (2/1/10)

Day 4 was Paris dayyyy!!!! Very2 early in the morning we walked quickly to the Eurostar station to take the fast speed train to Paris. It took about 2 and a half hours to get there. and it seemed like we were the only Asians on board! hahaha. Although we were quite skeptical about the train system (just a few weeks earlier, the Eurostar train was stucked under the sea for hoursss), we just prayed that everything would be ok. Alhamdulillah, we arrived safely in Paris in the afternoon. It was snowing a bit when we arrived.

-icy view from the train-

We then arrived at the budget hotel that we had booked online earlier. It was strategically located as it was just within 10mins walk from the train station. What a relief! There was, however, a lil bit of misunderstanding about the booking at first, but once it was settled, we were very happy. The place looked much2 better than Pemberton House!!!

To walk around Paris city, we only had about 4 hours before the sun set. Definitely Eiffel Tower was our first destination. We hopped on a bus and wallla, the famous tower was before our eyes. It was like a dream!!! We even had real French crepes with Nutella there!

We later stopped at the famous arch 'Arch de Triomphe' for some snappings too!

-Arch de Triomphe-

It was really2 cold that night... I needed to keep controlling my body heat psychologically coz I felt like I could suffer from frostbite at any point, even with 5 layers of clothing and double layers of socks! The temperature on average in London and Paris during that week ranged from -3 to 2 degrees Celsius!! Imagine!!!

I had a terrible cold , sneezing non-stop, but still we managed to indulge in a real succulent pizza at a cafe in the city that night. After all, I had lost hope in finding the right words, gestures, and facial expressions that could possibly make the French workers understand that I needed medicine to ease my cold!! They kept giving me tissues!!!!

Language barriers still posed a serious problem amongst travellers in France, I think.

-THE pizza!-

We slept like babies that night....


Day 5 (3/1/10)

Day 5 = Disneyland day!!!!

Yeah, we are still kids at hearts. We took the train from the city. Disneyland is located about 45 mins train away from the city. We bought our tickets online. They are much cheaper online. The tickets were meant for entrance for both Disneyland Park and Walt Disney Studio. Here are some pics from the Disneyland Park:









































































We really looked like kids huh? huhu...

We were even willing to wait in a long line just to take photos with Pluto!

Mr Hubby enjoyed his rides and I enjoyed the atmosphere and the magical feeling typically associated with Disneyland. What a splendid feeling! I shopped for souveniers a bit while he went all ga-ga with his rides. Hehehe..

As the sun set, we went to the Walt Disney Studio next door. We didn't have much time, so we just snapped as many photos as possible there. To make it worthwhile, I agreed to follow Mr Hubby to enter the Tower of Terror. I thought "tak terok sgt kotttt". Damn I was wrong. Little I realized that entering that place was like committing suicide. The concept was: the lift in the haunted hotel was not functioning, so as we entered it, it just terus jatuh menjunaaammmmm!!! Rasa cam nk mati!!! I just closed my eyes all the way, regretting every second why in the world I entered that 'hell' in the first place. And it turned out that my voice was not the only thing I lost that day. ;(. Well, it was meant to be...i gez...







































Then we went to Disneyland Village, just nearby. It was full of restaurants and cafes, which were mostly expensive. I don't remember what we ended up eating that night...huhuhu
















Day 6 (4/1/10)

Bubbye Paris.... told ya it was a budget trip. If we had enough money, we would have extended the length of our stay.... Tapi oklaaaa.... So that morning, before the sun rose, we went back to London via Eurostar. Here are some of our last pics in Paris:


We arrived in London that morning at around 8 am. We checked in our new budget accommodation in London, named Vegas Hotel. Believe me, there's nothing Vegas about it. Even the worker at the reception were Indians! heheh.. But better than Pemberton Gardens. It's also near an underground train station, i.e. Victoria. It's like a Bed and Breakfast accomm. Doesn't really matter. We were out most of the time.

That day we tried to cover other attractions in London that we didn't get to go on the first 2 days. We went to British Museum, Trafalgar Square, Covent Garden, and Madamme Tussauds.

Here are some of our pics for the day:








































































































That's all we did the whole day... heheh..


Day 7 (5/1/10)

Oh a few more places to cover on the last day!

First of all, since we were already London, we took the opportunity to visit Greenwich Park, at which there's a line that indicates where time actually starts for the whole world! There was also a little museum there with all sorts of gadgets ever invented to measure time in the past.

Oh anyway, before we reached the park, we were dead hungry, so we bought 2 large lamb kebabs in the Greenwich city. It was the BEST kebab we've ever tasted. Nasib baik tak mengidam ni during this pregnancy.huhu... Only then we realized that there's a Muslim community in Greenwich, and that's why Halal food outlets were abundant there.

Here are some pics:















































In the late afternoon, we went back to city centre and did some souvenir shopping at Chinatown. At the city, we took some photos at the Tower of London and I ice skated at the open-air ice rink there! It was sooo soooo funnnn... A lot better than the experience in Sunway! Also, it was a good way to heat up my body.















After that we went to Chinatown. The souveniers there were a lil cheaper. But the most important thing was, there were endlessss choices! No pics were snapped. Too busy shopping maaaa....

We went back to the hotel, took our stuff and hopped on a shuttle airport bus from the Victoria station back to where we first landed; Stansted Airport. As we were walking to the bus station, suddenly it was snowing heavily. Many locals were worried about the danger of thick layers of snow on the roads and at the airport. But I simply cherished the moments as droplets of snow were falling on my hair. ;)

The flight was at midnight. Goodbye London, goodbye Europe!


Day 8 (6/1/10)

We arrived safely in the LCC Terminal KL at around 8 pm the next day. It was fulfilling albeit a lil tiring... Say hello to reality!!!!

Overall, it was a really2 AWESOME trip for us!

It was our dream to experience European culture, walk along Oxford Street, celebrate New Year in a different continent, inhale Europe's coldest mist, cuddle at Eiffel Tower, indulge in a real pizza in a Paris cafe, be kids again in Disneyland, and be smothered by snow on one of London's coldest nights.

In simpler words, our dreams came true!

But, I don't feel like visiting London again. Maybe other places in England, the countrysides or other states in the Great Britain.

One day when we have more money, surely a complete REAL Euro Trip will be another dream-come-true.

Now it's time to materialize other dreams like having one nice happy family, buying our dream house, being good spouses, becoming better people, and travelling to other parts of the world when we have extra money in the future. ;)

May all our dreams come true.

To view ALL the photos, you can check my Facebook photo albums:

a) Facebook-Euro Trip-London City-[Part 1]

b) Facebook-Euro Trip-Paris-[Part 2]

c) Facebook-Euro Trip-Disneyland-[Part 3]

d) Facebook-Euro Trip-Back in London City-[Part 4]


and may there be more travel journals like this about OUR trips in the future.

Ciao!